The Importance of Patience and Surrender to Creative Flow

Hello. As I'm recording this, it is the day after the 4th of July weekend,
and I recognize some of you don't live in the United States who are
listening, but we had a holiday weekend this past weekend. And I just think
that this is the perfect time that I am putting together this episode,
because today's episode is about patience and surrender and not necessarily
about constantly working. And so this weekend, I was able to take time off.
I think I started at 7:00 Friday night. And I did not come back into my
office until 10:30 this morning, which is Tuesday morning. And so it's been
like in one respect, I recognize the discomfort of not working, not
checking my social media all the time, not looking at my emails. Literally,
I stayed away. Mostly, I stayed away from social media and emails. And I
spent time with friends. We went to the beach. I spent a lot of time at the
beach. I spent time in Lake Superior. We went and spent time in the
community at the fireworks.

It was just a really great weekend. I took a nap on Monday and I just
decided. Joy in the meantime, right? In today's episode, I'm going to talk
about joy in the meantime. So let's get started.

Welcome to Beautifully Bloomed, the podcast where we explore how to break
you out of the box of rules and beliefs that are holding you back from the
life you're meant to live. I'm your host, Rebecca Tervo. Join me as I share
mindset tools, coaching conversations, and human design to help you uncover
your unique gifts and create the life, relationships, and business you
desire.

So today, I want to talk to you about patience and surrender. And these are
not very easy concepts for us as human beings in today's world to grasp. If
you think about what we get taught about how to create things in our life
or how to be successful, it's always about go out there, get it done,
figure it out, do it, go get that diploma, make sure you get a diploma that
you can use and make good money in some kind of job. And it's just always
kind of about hard work. And we really put a lot of value on the brain
power, right? The figuring it out, the being able to be really logical to
figure out the right steps of the things to do, being able to work really
hard, studying hard, getting straight A's, all of these things.

And we really do put a lot of value too on having certain material
possessions. And I'm not saying any of that is bad. In fact, I feel great
when I have a nice home to live in, or when I have a nice car to drive, or
we make enough money to be able to travel during the year. Whatever that
is, that stuff, it's all of us want some of that. Right? But what I have
been studying about in the past 10 years, for sure in the past 10 years, is
how can I lean more into what my role is in the world? In fact, I would say
since my son died in 2012, it's really was apparent to me that I really
wanted to figure out. And I know I don't like to use the term figure out as
much anymore, but I really felt this urge to find out what was life really
about, or why was I here? What was the purpose for me being here?

Because I, at one time thought that, and for sure when I was raising four
children, of course, I felt like a major part of my life was about being a
mom. So then I went on this journey when my son died to try to come to
terms with how I had failed as a mother. If that was my main purpose, which
sometimes I thought it was, what was that about, and why did that happen in
my life, that one of my children had to die by suicide? And that really led
me on a path to self-growth and awareness and self-discovery, and really a
spiritual discovery about what is life about and what are all these things
that I thought I needed to have in order to feel successful? Because being
successful for me, it really included raising children that would grow into
adults that would have their version of success, which a lot of us would
look at that like they get married, they have two kids, they have a house,
they have steady jobs, all of those things that we think are about being
successful in life.

But really, I started to question all of those beliefs about what success
really meant, and what did it need to be for me in order to really have a
great reason to look at a future without my son. And so that kind of got me
on a spiritual path of figuring out what life was about and what I found
for myself is it wasn't what I thought it was. It wasn't the things I had
been led to believe, or the things that I thought I was led to believe that
really were supposed to be a part of my life in order for me to look like I
was successful. I had a lot of judgment about how to be successful, why I
wasn't successful, why other people were or weren't successful. I had so
many judgments about that.

And I really believe that human design came into my life at the right time.
I think it came into my life when I was entering my Chiron Return, which
happens between the age of 48 and 52 for us, depending on your own specific
chart, your natal chart. But for me, I did just turn 51 this year, so I've
been in my Chiron Return for a little while now. And it's kind of that time
in your life and in your 50s or when you're getting to the age of 50 is
when you kind of start to go through another evolution I guess, another
stage of needing to find something again. It's this weird growth part
again, where your kids are leaving home, if you've had kids and you've had
a family. Somehow your life is changing in a major way. So human design
came into my life before I turned 50, but it was in that kind of coming to
the Chiron Return phase for me.

And I think that it just came at such a perfect time for me to start to
really use human design in my life as a tool to look at the ways that I was
here, to look at how I was here to be what were my gifts to give to the
world. And one thing interesting I came across in my human design chart was
where my mercury is located. Now, if you look at where your mercury is
located, you can say that mercury is about communication, and it's about
intellect. So in some ways, mercury is what you're here or how you're here
to communicate. If you have a business, you might think of it as this
flavor of energy is what I need to put into my business or my marketing or
how I need to communicate with my clients. There's something in mercury
that is like, this is what I'm here to teach others. This is what I'm also,
for me to teach it, I feel like I need to experience it. I need to lean
into that energy in some ways myself.

And so when I looked at what my mercury gates were, so funny, in the
quantum human design language, mercury gates 20 and 22 for me are called
patience and surrender. Sometimes our charts have so much conundrum in
them, right? It's so funny because I'm like, well, I could really look at
my life and say that so much of my life was not about patience and
surrender. It was a lot of the opposite. It was a lot of achieving,
overdoing, trying to make things happen, pushing really hard, working
really hard, just wanting the next thing. It wasn't trust and patience and
surrender. So I want to talk about what patience and surrender mean in the
specific gates of 20 and 22.

And then I also want to talk about how you can have more patience and
surrender in your life and what that might mean for you, because I really
feel, all of us, if we could just learn to let go of control just a little
bit, right, just start to learn that we cannot control everything. I always
wanted to control everything. And I always thought that if I just had
control of everything, it's all going to go the way I want to. And what I
really learned, and the big lesson when Trevor died was that that's not how
it works. That really, control is kind of an illusion. We think we have a
lot more control than we really do.

And so the gate 20 in human design, which is the gate of patience, is
basically, it's about trusting your intuition, know what needs to be
readied for the right timing to make things happen or to do things, right?
It's about this really, trust, right? Trusting and knowing when you should
be readying for things. So not only trusting, but having an intuition that
well, I need to work on these things because sometime in the future,
there's going to be something that this is needed for. So I'm going to get
these things ready, and when the time is right, then I'll be ready. Right?
So gate 20 comes out of the throat center in human design. And in human
design, the throat center or the throat chakra if you want to think of it
as the chakra, is about action. It's about taking action, like speaking out
into the universe, right? Speaking out what you're really here to create.

So the opposite of really leaning into the energy of trusting your
intuition and knowing what needs to be readied to be ready for the right
timing of something is acting before the time is right, feeling frustrated,
quitting, giving up, all of the things that I feel like I've done a lot in
my life, right? Just consistently pushing to get things done and
accomplished. And I have accomplished a lot, and I've done a lot in my
life. So perhaps there was some right timing in there, but I know that
there's been many times and I have felt so frustrated with so many things.
The need of quitting or giving up has been a major thing in my life. And I
sometimes thought, "Oh my gosh, I just like to jump from thing to thing
because I was looking for something. There's something that isn't right.
There's something that's not working."

And the patience, so this gate I feel like teaches us that what if you had
the patience, and instead of jumping around, quitting, giving up, starting
something new, you actually were patient, you kind of trusted that there's
a bigger plan, you maybe readied some things, you kind of put some
foundations in place for things to happen or for something to be created
that might be coming in the future and just not giving into that consistent
need to be busy and doing, right? So that's gate 20. Now, gate 22 is called
surrender. So on the other side, so the surrender, gate 22, is in the
emotional solar plexus of the human design chart. So the emotional center
is all about our emotional energy. So gate 22 is about knowing that you are
fully supported and can pursue your passion. Have faith that everything
will work out and trust that you'll be given what you need. That would be
living into the energy of gate 22.

And so on the opposite side when you're not in the balanced expression of
that energy, you have a fear that you're not supported. You stifle your
passions because you can't afford to do them, or you can't afford to pursue
what you really want to do. You compromise, you settle, you stay stuck. You
don't have any creative flow because you are in kind of that emotional
energy of fear or the fear or the frustration, all of those emotions that
don't help you to stay in an energetic flow of faith and knowing that you
are supported. And so again, I can look at my life and I can see that
there's so many times that I haven't had faith. I say the words a lot of
trusting that everything will work out. In fact, I come back to the thought
over and over again for myself that I really do trust that everything works
out for a reason. I trust that things happen, that we won't understand in
this lifetime. I trust that my son died and I won't know the answers, and I
don't need to spend the rest of my life figuring those out, right?

I trust that I am fully supported. I trust that I can be a life coach. I
trust that I can because human design has so much curiosity for me and I
have such a passion for it. I do trust that there's a reason that I should
pursue this. If I wasn't so passionate about it, then I probably wouldn't
be pursuing it and I probably wouldn't take it into my business. But
because it's a passion and because I'm so curious about it and it just
continues to unveil itself to me really, I am trusting and I'm having faith
and I'm continually pouring my emotional energy into it, knowing that
somehow this is part of the purpose that I'm here. For some reason, at this
time, human design is coming into my business. There are people that need
me to help them through this tool of human design. And that's really how
I'm leaning into this surrender energy, feeling like even when I started my
business and even when I switched from grief coaching to human design, that
was like a big leap.

But even when I did that, I thought there's a reason for this, even though
I didn't feel like... in fact, I did have a lot of fear about not being
supported, not only from the universe or from God, but just from friends or
family. I just had this fear that, oh, people are going to think I'm crazy,
or what is this? Is this a little woo-woo? Of course I had all those fears.
And so I've really been allowing myself to not listen to those as much as
trust and lean into faith. Lean into faith that if I am curious and
interested in this, then there is a reason. I don't want to ignore my
passion for something. I have done that for many years in the past, because
I thought it was something I wasn't allowed to do. I have shut off parts of
myself in the past. And I felt like I'm not being authentic anymore. I'm
totally not being authentic if I'm shutting off parts of me.

And so this is what I'm leaning more into now is really allowing myself to
be passionate about what it is that I want to do and being able to bring it
into my work, because I just feel like our work can be so fulfilling when
it's something we're really interested in. And if it's something we're not
interested in, then perhaps it's time to let that go and find and really
lean into the things that we are interested in. And that's kind of what
happened too with my accounting career. It's not that I'm not good at it.
It's not that I don't know how to do it. It's not that I haven't done it
for 25 years, and have a lot of experience. It's just that I wasn't
passionate about it anymore. And do you have to be passionate about a job
that makes you money? Maybe not, but I think you need to. If you're not
passionate about how you're making money, find that passion on something in
the outside of your job. I think you need to have a passionate hobby you're
pursuing or a passionate volunteer activity.

You need to bring that passion in somewhere in your life, even if right
now, you're not able to fully make a living doing what you're passionate
for. I think surrendering right now, surrendering, meaning pursuing your
passion in some way, even if it's not your full way that you make a living,
and trusting that it's going to work out, that you will bring that more and
more into your life and not compromising, not settling, right? Because I
feel like that's where we get our creativity shutdown. As human beings,
every single one of us is creative. Every single one of us, we are creating
our life. We're here to create our life in this world. And so we're all
creative beings. And what happens is when we feel deeply unfulfilled, we
feel stuck, we feel frustrated, we feel angry or fearful, all of those
things that totally shuts down that creativity. And that's where we feel
stuck in life. And we have these issues with money and relationships and
business and jobs, all of that stuff, right? That's where the unfulfillment
comes in.

So here are five things that I thought of that we can do to lean more into
having patience and surrender in our life so that we can feel more
fulfilled, and we're not stuck, we're not feeling stuck. We can have more
happiness. We can have more freedom. I feel like many of us would love to
just have freedom and joy and just feel like life is fun, and we feel like
we're in the ease and flow of creativity. So number one, lean into your
strategy. And when I'm talking about strategy, I'm talking about human
design strategy. If you are a manifester, listen to that inner creative
flow that you have and inform when it's time, inform the rest of us what
that vision is. Don't shut down that inner creative flow. Lean into your
strategy as a manifester, as a projector.

Remember to be invited, and remember to be around people or take on
invitations where people are recognizing you for your wisdom and your
talents. Make sure that you are building your, let's say you're building
your lighthouse, right? You're building your knowledge base, whatever it is
you're creating, whatever it is you love to create in life, but you are now
open to being invited to the right opportunities. And that those people
that are inviting you are really recognizing your talents. And then for
generators and manifesting generators, be responsive to your environment.
Right? So what is showing up that you are responding to and you are feeling
excited about. If you're not feeling excited about things that you are
actually saying yes to, you're probably not listening to your own
intuition, which is to respond. And then for reflectors, of course, it's
more about being in the right place and the right time, feeling into what's
right for you. It's probably going to take you some time and patience,
right? So for reflectors, patience is actually part of your strategy,
patience and surrender.

So number one is lean into your strategy in order to have more patience and
surrender in your life, in order to find better opportunities and feel more
fulfillment. So number two, get out of your head. What should I do be done
is probably not the answer, right? Get out of your head. I have spent so
many years logically thinking about things. That's not really the way of
human design either. Human design teaches us to feel into our intuition.
And human design will tell you what is your intuitive way for you, right?
There's some different ways to know what your decision-making strategy is
or decision-making authority is. And so getting out of your head and
leaning into your body and feeling what is right for you is really
important when having more patience and surrender.

And number three is about... I love this quote I heard from one of my
mentors in the human design program I'm in. She said, "Have some joy in the
meantime." And I was like, "Oh, that is such a good phrase." I like that
joy in the meantime. So in other words, go enjoy yourself. Take some time
off. Have fun. How can you bring more joy into your life even when you feel
like things aren't where you want them to be right now? Still, it doesn't
mean we don't get to have joy until later. I feel like so many of us push
off. We push things off because when we get to a certain point, then we'll
be able to enjoy that. No. Start right now and live life and have joy as
you go. And as you create joy in your life right now, you will feel so much
more fulfilled. It'll open up your creativity, opportunities start showing
up. Really, it's an energetic flow thing. So that's number three, joy the
meantime.

Number four, be creative. What is creative for you? What is creativity for
you? It could be many things. Many times when we hear the word creative, we
think of art, right? So there's that. There's painting, drawing, coloring,
using markers, using all the different tools that artists have. Maybe take
a class in art or something, just something fun, something that doesn't
have anything to do with your business or work. Or it could be other
things. It could be taking a speaking class or acting class or dancing to
music or playing an instrument. I like playing the piano occasionally. It
was like getting in touch with nature maybe. Where do you feel creative?
How can you bring creativity into your life? Maybe writing is also a
creative path. One of my clients really loves to write, and she has put
boundaries around just having creative time to write every day. So number
four is be creative.

And then number five is get grounded and nurture your specific needs. So
what do you need daily to ground yourself and nurture yourself and take
care of your needs whatever those needs are? And it doesn't even matter
what it's about. Is it to take a bath? Is it to soak your feet? Is it to
take a walk in nature? Is it to go sit at the beach, like I like to do,
read a book by the beach? What grounds you? What nurtures you? What feels
nurturing to you? It doesn't have to be going to get a massage. That could
be, but it can be anything. Right? So for you specifically, what feels like
it helps you to expand? And maybe it is going to work out at the gym every
day. Maybe that is how some people get grounded and stay in their body and
make sure they're nurturing themselves. Maybe it's the way you eat, making
specific meals that really help you to have a better digestive system.
There's a lot of things I'm talking about right now that have a lot to do
with me.

So anyways, that's the five things. So I'm just going to cover them really
quickly again. So this is the five ways that you can lean more into
patience and surrender so that you can feel more joy in your life, feel
more fulfilled, have more opportunity show up, right? That's what I'm
talking about today. Number one, lean into your human design strategy.
Number two, get out of your head. Number three, joy in the meantime. Number
four, be creative and have some kind of creative practice. And number five,
get grounded and nurture your specific needs. So that's what I have for you
today. I have loved talking about this. This is one of my favorite topics.
And I hope you are having an amazing summer. And we'll talk next week.

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to share this with you, and can't wait to talk to you next time. Bye.